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Thérèse was closest to her sister Pauline, whom Thérèse thought of as a second mother. When Pauline told her she was leaving to enter the convent at the Carmelite Monastery in Lisieux, nine-year-old Thérèse was stunned. She was losing a mother, again.
She described her sorrow, "How can I express the anguish of my heart? In one instant, I understood what life was; until then, I had never seen it so sad, but it appeared to me in all its reality, and I saw it was nothing but continual suffering and separation. I shed bitter tears ... I did not yet understand the joy of sacrifice."
Shortly after Pauline's departure, Thérèse resolved to join her at Lisieux's Carmelite Convent. She approached the prioress of the monastery and sought admittance. Carefully, Thérèse explained it was not for Pauline's sake, but for Jesus' sake that she wished to enter. The prioress advised her to return when she grew up. The candidate was not yet ten years old.
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